with tears in my eyes...

I write this for all who were not on tonight. Lately I've been dealing with a lot both in game and IRL, and some that are mixture of both. Somethings new and somethings that I've tried to bury.but one thing is for certain. ...it has all come crashing down on me. I don't know where to start but it's something i have to deal with, and dealing with it the only way i know how to deal with things...by myself... all my life i done everything by myself i don't know any other way and that is why i had to leave the fc...i need to take time to be by myself to gather my thoughts and work through them. And i know that all of you would be there for me and some of you have and i really appreciate that,but in my world it makes feel worse because now i feel like I'ma burden to those people.i know that sounds stupid but it's how i feel. In the short time that we have all known each other i feel like we have made bonds that can't be broken. Ive come to see all of you as my family. Like i played call of duty with the same group of people for years and never saw them as more than friends... but you guys...you guys are my family even more so than my real family and that's why it hurts so much to say good bye to all of you. I feel like my heart gets ripped apart every second that i think of you guys now that I'm not there.and I'm sorry if i caused caused anybody any pain with me leaving but this is the only way i know how to deal with things and somethings well never be the same with me but i can only hope that i can deal with them enough to get back to a place that is normal again...maybe even one day return to the fc if you guys would have me back. So as wrap this up i just want all of you to know...

THAT I LOVE EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU GUYS WITH ALL MY HEART... NEVER IN MY LIFE DID I EVER IMAGINE THAT PEOPLE WHO I NEVER MET WOULD COME TO MEAN THE WORLD TO ME

So i guess this is goodbye hopefully just for a little while. I love you all and hope that you guys can forgive the decision i had to make i miss you all so much already ♡♡♡♡

We'll be here, we always have been. Come back soon, okay?

Thank you Z. But only time will tell if and when that happens

You'll always have a place if you want to come back. Always always.

Thank you albie.....but again i don't know when that will be

It still saddens me when i think of you leaving... but if you feel you have to do it dont let anything stop you. We miss you very much but we also understand that this needs to be done. We love you and will always be here for you. And if you ever need to talk this purple kitty boy will always be here for you. If you need to vent or a shoulder to cry on im here for ya.

I'm sorry i caused you pain Aston...i miss you guys too. And i know you always been there to lend a hand. ..even though I'm scared to find out where that hand has been...but seriously thank you aston for having been there for me...

Thats what im here for And dont you worry where its been

Aston's hand has been busy cooling down beers, I'm sorry to see you go Suki but I wish you the best. Hopefully we can all hang out again on FF14 or maybe somewhere in the console world that Steve calls blasphemy. LOL jk.

Loop, i left the FC, not the game...and this leave isn't meant to be permanent. I will be returning when I'm ready

I know you left the FC and not the game. Sadly I can't play the game for the time being. Derp

Beers? Eww i think not Lupe. Alcohol free for 27 years.